Did that not irk you - the staccato sentences? You must’ve read not read if that did not annoy you. Well hello readers. I still feel there’s less than more of you but hey there’s at least one (?). I’m ecstatic to say that my weirdly composed body will roam the land of home soon. Close enough that I’ve been yapping about it repeatedly in my system till I (purposely) abandon summer class with an excuse that the lectures are killing my already depleting 15 minutes of focus.
There, the difference between the first paragraph and the second. Can you not see how vexing it was? Never mind you. Laugh. That’s what’s left when you walk through a prologue with me. I honestly suck at beginnings. If this were an assessment, I’d have completely blown my chances away.
Bear with me; this might just be another useless (probably not) post. I’m working on inserting thoughts, which might equate with whatsoever that’s scurrying in your noggin. I hope.
My housemates and I, together with Brittney had lunch at Peking Buffet today. I had to be the first to grab one of the fortune cookies when the wait staff handed them over. Just a habit I believe my sister and I have developed since dad used to spoil us with a tub of fortune cookies in the hope that we’d not believe in such fallacies but rather turn them into… yadiyada whatever I still get all tingly over fortune cookies. I miss my old man. Just the other day our brief text-conversation ended with his sweet thoughts, “awaiting to hug you”, and I wavered in gaiety.
One of his favorite zikir rings on ever since, perhaps because I’ve missed him so much. Dad has this calming almost lullaby-like serenading voice when it comes to reciting the Quran. Anyhow, it was a coincidence – a wishful coincidence. As much as I was figuratively jumping up and down over the cracked fortune cookie, I was happier to receive an assurance that the decisions I’ve made foresee placidity.
I no longer need to enmesh myself in a worthless hope. I used to love someone, whom I had so much faith in but it always led to a mountain of disappointment. Subsequently it brought me to a dream, which was too daunting to be erased. They say a dream is but a dream. It was however an exception. Subconsciously, a dream is a future prognosis or a mind play of intertwined experiences. Either way, I have to believe in the dream I had. My prayers are with you.
"Semakin derita menghimpit kita, semakin dekat tuhan menghampiri kita."
