unusual

i've become lazier than usual when it comes to updating. my bad. so the week's been going usual as per usual. the only difference perhaps, was when my friends and I went to Steve Aoki's concert (?) -- more like a crowd of jumping jacks sans the hand-move. it was sick (so they say) though. the use of ecstasy (maybe) might speed up the euphoric sensation but seeing Mr. Aoki jumped onto an inflatable boat was unusual enough. quite a character i'd say. he does have longer and silkier hair than mine. do men's hair just grow healthier than us? is it because of our usual salon visit that makes it unusual? it was sick, that night.

one of the tangible items i can never resist is notebook -- journal. anybody who's known me a week long (at least) could easily trace me out of this. so when i haven't received the one i purchased last week as scheduled, i got a little tingly. walked myself down a floor to the mailbox and... got it! one more to my collection of countless notebooks. i blame Barnes&Noble for their generous email discounts for members.

Shiela asked me the other day, "why is it (that) life tries and tires you?" the question then has been circling between my usual and unusual thoughts. i know for a certain that it tries you because life is a series of challenges -- constant, varying, unexpected, and foreseen. so often we forget to take a breather; sink in this trying life. we are beings who walk on this questioning path every other day. we tend to oversee and at the same time see above or below it. there are times that we need to see through it. there's always, always a reason the very least to why life tries you be it religion or non-religion wise. we're given this portion of the system - brain - that enables us the possibility of unraveling the nooks and crooks of our thoughts. the littlest trigger (i.e. a boy dressed in checkered jacket bends down to pick up his blue cap) exercises the unthinkable outcome. life is trying especially as we gradually mold principles based on our senses; hearing, sight, touch, smell and taste. life is trying because we are trying life itself.

it comes down eventually to when life tires you. it's a process, cycle, step-by-step, etc. it tires you indefinitely when you give up. it tires you until it changes you when you lose faith. the fundamental belief, in which you have to in any which way have faith in yourself. there are countless of scope as to how you choose your guidance (almost always, religion), but the rule of thumb is to never give up on yourself. there's a subliminal support within our system, which qualifies each and everyone of us to stand up when we fall. to be independent is to be dependent on self-belief. some have it easy but most have it tirelessly trying.

as for myself, i've had it unusually usual. the drawbacks of math versus the prospective of writing. "What's your first major?" she laughed when i replied. it's been two weeks of continuous compliments. Ms. Murray has my heart. how often are you offered a recommendation? she has my heart the most when she wrote, "I think both your grandparents would be very proud of you." i wish they're here to witness it. perhaps the afterlife builds up more concrete pillars. how'd we know? as for myself (again), i'm still choking this never-ending mathematical failure. we'll see how it'd run towards the finishing line.